Changing Habits - Reinventing Myself Part 2

Changing Habits - Reinventing Myself   Part 2

Taking Action – first steps.

Let’s get this excitement converted into actionable steps. If you completed Part 1 then you are ready to put pen to paper and commit to this process. In Part 2 we will assemble the pieces needed: your vision, your actions and the emotions that drive them. I will offer real life examples of people who have gone through this process and the notes that they made for themselves. Use their experience as an example but make this journey truly your own with your own words and thoughts. You are unique. Take ideas from others but ultimately this exercise works best when you fill in the color and details that make it REAL for you.

My List of things I need

1. My vision of the future. Write it out. Make is so exciting you fall in love with it. Call it, “The REAL Me”.  This is your new reality, your new empowered existence, the higher elevated version of YOU that you have dreamed of.  Read it EVERY day. As you are starting out, read it 2 or 3 times per day. Have it handy as a file on your phone, laptop, or iPad so it is with you easily all day long.
Standing in line wasting time?  Great, read and rehearse your new vision and repeatedly fall in love with The REAL Me.   
 

2. Old disabling beliefs I want to change or extinguish:  write it down

• Emotions:
• Behaviors / Actions / Habits: Thoughts:
   

3. New Paradigm:  how I will think, act, and feel moving forward.

• Emotions:
• Behaviors / Actions / Habits:

4. Rehearse those actions thoughts, and beliefs until they feel real and natural. You have written these down for quick daily review. They will soon be wired into your brain and no longer need review. Thoughts that fire together – wire together. These thoughts become automatic. New neural networks form in your brain. Repetition is key.

5. Acceptance.  Remove ALL doubt. This exercise can’t be “gee, I hope this works”. Any doubt will kill any nugget of success. Step into this new existence with unwavering belief and confidence. Accept it as your new truth.
 

This process when properly done will likely take you an hour but in truth it is an evolution that changes and takes on different nuance over time as you shape this experience. Look for the fine detail. Walk into pain when it arises. Don’t run from the process – feed it. Get it out. There is a reason that these old habits have held you hostage – find it. When you find a pressure point, embrace it, eat it, stomp on it. Get comfortable with discomfort and explore the WHY behind it. Only you have the answers. No one else has lived your experience.

Pain = Progress.    Exploration = Enlightenment.

This very life only exists for us to learn about our true nature and develop the true skills of humanity. Love, joy and happiness come from and exist in the heart – that is our destination.

Real Life Examples that you can learn from and model.

EXAMPLE #1:  “I need to get away from sugar and processed food. It’s toxic and causes weight gain.”

This first example comes from my own life, and I will be brutally open about how I attacked it. In my residency training I was working an absurd number of hours. I used Diet Coke as a caffeine source and would typically consume 6 cans per day. Fast food became a quick and easy pleasure. I was hooked into both. One day my brother innocently poked by belly and exclaimed with glee, “you’re soft and mushy”. My ego which had been an athlete my whole life was shocked and upset. More upset with myself than with my brother. That was the emotional fuel I needed. The rules I had been living by were simply not delivering an acceptable result. The pain of feeling this way was greater than the pain of giving up Coke and McDonalds. So step #1 was in place: acknowledge your pain and use it as fuel.

I restructured my attitude using the outline above and discussed in Part 1:

1. Vision – my desired future:  I am fit and capable. I can’t be of service to anyone if I don’t first take care of this body. I can do anything I put my mind to. I have never failed at anything I truly applied my mind to so why would I fail this? I see others who attain incredible physical status and I refuse to believe that they have some special skill that I don’t have, therefore I can do it too. My addiction to fast food and Coke has turned me into the food industries little BIT__!!!  I refuse to live under anyone’s thumb so Coke and McDonalds can kiss my sorry butt goodbye.
   • • I had to get angry about the state I was in. I needed to develop a strong attitude about being held captive. I took it personally that they had handcuffed me. I needed that anger to fuel my extrication from my situation. This is probably not everyone’s ideal approach, but it worked for me at that time.
2. Old disabling beliefs I want to change or extinguish: 

• Emotions: Coke is my friend and makes me feel good. Happy with the thought that this ice-cold beverage was going to ease my pain and relieve me of the tension I felt. This greasy salted meal and coke were a break from my constant stress and busyness – a place to rest and recoup. Aaaahhhhh. Gratitude for the good feeling. My friend.
• Behaviors / Actions / Habits:  Anytime I needed or wanted a distraction I would reach for these 2 things. On my way into a long ER shift I would stop and pick up these goodies so that my “friend” could come with me. Every single day of my life, Coke was there by my side. Identify all of the cues and situations that drive you to engage the behavior you are looking to change.
• Thoughts: My disabling thought was that this Coke and McDonalds were things I “deserved” as a reward for working hard. They are innocent pleasures. Everyone does this, it’s no big deal. What good is life if you can’t enjoy the simple pleasures. It’s not hurting anything. I still exercise and eat vegetables so I am fine . . . right?

       3. New Paradigm:  how I will think, act, and feel moving forward.

• Emotions:  anger at being fooled. Disgust that I was so weak to give into this marketing ploy. You can’t own me, I am not for sale. Empowered to show them that they have no control over me and I am wise to their game. Get off me!! You are slowly killing me and holding me hostage.
• Behaviors / Actions / Habits:  never, ever, ever under any circumstance pull my car into a McDonalds. Never ever ever, even if on fire, purchase a Coke product for any purpose. Find fantastic replacements that fuel my health and don't steal from me. Find three things that are better than those dog poop options. Find multiple food options that are healthy for me yet still tickle my need for salt and sweet. Make it simple and have it on hand for easy access. (Chelsea can help you here.)
• Thoughts:  Coke & McDonalds have conspired to kill me. They aren’t friends, they are nasty bastards that have made me an addict so that they can get rich. The Golden arches represent not food but “toxic house of crap”. Every time I hear their jungle “I’m lovin it” I know that it’s their accounting team joyously counting how many souls they have claimed. I am never getting sucked into that mainstream garbage again. If learning to love organic whole foods makes me a freak then let me get my freak on. I get to decide what is good enough to go in my body and what is simply man-made crap. I will show anyone who knows me what healthy eating looks like. I will be a walking example of better choices.

     4. Rehearsal:  how I will think, act, and feel moving forward.

• I know I will walk past a sign or see an ad or commercial and it may spike my addiction and drive desire, so I have to plan for it and be ready for it. I know that I will be at a ballgame, a party or some gathering and someone will offer me a Coke. I know that I will be out with friends, and someone will suggest we stop at some fast-food place for a quick bite. What exactly will I say or do? Be specific.
• Replace Coke with water. Develop a love and taste for water and make that your default. Add a safe flavor to your water if you need this initially. It’s the 4th of July and someone hands you a Coke on this hot day . . . what do you do? I can simply say no thank you or even make some white lie that I’m allergic but either way I will be definitive in my resolution to seek out water or club soda as a replacement.
• Rehearse what you will take with you on days where fast food might be a likely option. Driving kids around town for practice or appointments. Road trips out of town. Late evenings when family dinner is not possible. What will I eat? Have a solid list of at least 3 realistic options: get a salad at Subway, pack an IQ Bar (protein bar), pack a small cooler with cooked chicken and raw veggies. See it in your mind and rehearse it being REAL.

Part 3 will explore other examples such as being out of shape and starting an exercise program, reducing alcohol intake, reducing my tendency to generate excess stress.